I find best of 2015 theatre lists very depressing; reading about how much someone loved a list of shows you will now never be able to see is like that racoon dissolving its candy floss. So here is a list of theatre that I want to see in 2016. I am not going to see all of them because I looked at my bank balance recently but I've done a 'If you like this...you love this' guide for you so you can pick out something nice for yourself. Go on, treat yourself.
I lack the capacity to think too far into the future so it really is a list for the first part of the year, the rest of the year will just have to wait until this bit is over, okay?
I'll start with Brighton cos that is where I live...
If you were crazy voguing to this Madonna video in 1991 your gonna want to see the underworld behind all that in I Am Not Myself These Days on at the Brighton Dome.
If you desperately want to see Rupaul's Drag Race set in Essex it probably ain't gonna happen so go see Dianne Chorley's Broken Heart Ball at the Marlborough Theatre instead.
If you covet Cheryl's hair extensions on X Factor you'll need to get a grip (Ho ho) and see Hairpeace at the Brighton Dome.
If you wanna see more experimental art that includes dogs your going to be pretty fired up about Laurie Anderson curating the Brighton Festival and if you think the only good bits in Shakespeare plays are when everyone dies then your going to want to see Tim Crouch directing Spymonkey's The Complete Deaths. which is in it.
In London...
If you don't understand why people watch Doctor Who cos it's just a kids programme and isn't the least bit scary then you'll want to lose your shit watching Alistair Macdowell's X at the Royal Court.
If you hated the fact Sherlock went back in time and breathed a sigh of relief when you realised it was just a dream and we were still in the present after all, then you'll be glad of Robert Icke's, the British boy wonder of adaptation, version of Uncle Vanya at Almeida and Australian Boy wonder Simon Stone's Yerma at the Young Vic.
If you look at the News and shout 'Why, Oh why are our homes being treated like commodities instead of places to live!' then you'll enjoy letting your blood boil at Re: Home at The Yard or Coney's Adventure One part of the Whose London is it anyway? Festival at the Camden People's Theatre.
If your crossing your fingers that the EU referendum keeps us all connected to our continental cousins then you will want to support their work at the Barbican when Amsterdam's Toneelgroep (directed by Ivan Van Hove) bring over Kings of War and The Forbidden Zone from the Schaubuhne Berlin (directed by honorary Euro Katie Mitchell) and the Theatre of Warsaw's Krzysztof Warlikowski directs French actress Isabel Hupert in Phaedra.
I haven't even mentioned Caryl Churchills first full length play in a million years and that American play that everyone is wetting themselves about or Tim Minchin's Groundhog Day or Emma Rice at the Globe!
I also haven't mentioned anything north of Watford which is silly because there will be Richard Bean's The Nap at the Sheffield Crucible (with Jack O'Connell), Daniel Bye just said he is on in Leeds, David Threlfall as Don Quixote at the RSC and a new young Hamlet as well as Complicite's The Encounter and Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring at Home in Manchester and exciting news for the Theatre of Wales.
Right I'll stop there and leave you to get on with it.
I lack the capacity to think too far into the future so it really is a list for the first part of the year, the rest of the year will just have to wait until this bit is over, okay?
I'll start with Brighton cos that is where I live...
If you were crazy voguing to this Madonna video in 1991 your gonna want to see the underworld behind all that in I Am Not Myself These Days on at the Brighton Dome.
If you desperately want to see Rupaul's Drag Race set in Essex it probably ain't gonna happen so go see Dianne Chorley's Broken Heart Ball at the Marlborough Theatre instead.
If you covet Cheryl's hair extensions on X Factor you'll need to get a grip (Ho ho) and see Hairpeace at the Brighton Dome.
If you wanna see more experimental art that includes dogs your going to be pretty fired up about Laurie Anderson curating the Brighton Festival and if you think the only good bits in Shakespeare plays are when everyone dies then your going to want to see Tim Crouch directing Spymonkey's The Complete Deaths. which is in it.
In London...
If you don't understand why people watch Doctor Who cos it's just a kids programme and isn't the least bit scary then you'll want to lose your shit watching Alistair Macdowell's X at the Royal Court.
If you hated the fact Sherlock went back in time and breathed a sigh of relief when you realised it was just a dream and we were still in the present after all, then you'll be glad of Robert Icke's, the British boy wonder of adaptation, version of Uncle Vanya at Almeida and Australian Boy wonder Simon Stone's Yerma at the Young Vic.
If you look at the News and shout 'Why, Oh why are our homes being treated like commodities instead of places to live!' then you'll enjoy letting your blood boil at Re: Home at The Yard or Coney's Adventure One part of the Whose London is it anyway? Festival at the Camden People's Theatre.
If your crossing your fingers that the EU referendum keeps us all connected to our continental cousins then you will want to support their work at the Barbican when Amsterdam's Toneelgroep (directed by Ivan Van Hove) bring over Kings of War and The Forbidden Zone from the Schaubuhne Berlin (directed by honorary Euro Katie Mitchell) and the Theatre of Warsaw's Krzysztof Warlikowski directs French actress Isabel Hupert in Phaedra.
If you want a different result from the EU referendum (or if your feeling a bit patriotic) you can catch the best of the UK's theatre in one of A Nations Theatre events in association with the Guardian and the BAC; Little Bulb's Wail from Farhham, Breach Theatre's The Beanfield from Warwick, Vanishing Point's The Destroyed Room from Glasgow, Reassembled, Slightly Askew from Belfast and Lost Dog's Paradise Lost (Lies Unopened Beside me) from East Sussex.
I haven't even mentioned Caryl Churchills first full length play in a million years and that American play that everyone is wetting themselves about or Tim Minchin's Groundhog Day or Emma Rice at the Globe!
I also haven't mentioned anything north of Watford which is silly because there will be Richard Bean's The Nap at the Sheffield Crucible (with Jack O'Connell), Daniel Bye just said he is on in Leeds, David Threlfall as Don Quixote at the RSC and a new young Hamlet as well as Complicite's The Encounter and Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring at Home in Manchester and exciting news for the Theatre of Wales.
Right I'll stop there and leave you to get on with it.
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